Lonely but not alone

There are some days you just want to take off the calendar and pretend that they never happened. Days that you feel neither joy nor pain …. just an endless, overwhelming feeling of emptiness and loneliness. You wonder about the other choices you could have made but did not, about what you have not achieved so far, about the things you could’ve done better, about your childhood dreams and the excitement you felt when you thought of the endless possibilities and wonder where they all went. We all have those days and that’s how I feel right now. I seek neither pity nor consolation; just the chance to wallow in this emptiness and let it come to naught. I may feel lonely but I’m not alone because He is with me.

This too shall pass


Be careful what you wish for

You know when you go for interviews and they ask you to sell yourself, and you go on about how you don’t take no for an answer, how you can achieve and exceed set targets, how you work well under pressure, blah blah blah. Well, I got exactly what I wished for. Its exactly one week since I resumed my new job and I can’t hardly come up for air. There’s so much to learn because its a lot different from my old job. There’s a lot of analysis, reports and reading and I’m just soaking up all that I can. But I absolutely love it. I must admit though that the last job really prepared me for this new one. I think then that the moral of this story should be “Do not throw away your past and maximize your present, because they are both. a vital part of your future”

Off to more work!


Moving out, moving in

Today’s my last day at my bank. This is where I started my career and have only ever worked – and I’ve done that for 5 years. I sent out a farewell mail to my colleagues yesterday and received a tirade of questions and heartfelt goodwill messages. I’m using this opportunity to rebrand myself, both inside and out. New shoes, new bags, new clothes (I’ll post pics later), a different hairstyle, freshly psyched mentality. Every once in a while, we have to rebrand ourselves, come out of the rut of our routine lives and throw in some change and excitement here and there. It’ll re-energize us and breathe some enthusiasm, positivity and fresh air into our lives again. I feel both excited and scared about the future but I know that God’s got my back, as always.

That said, its been a crazy week for me. I’m searching for a new place and agents are giving me all kinds of rules and regulations. Its gotta be on the island to make my new life as easy and as uncomplicated as possible (if you’ve got any ideas, pls let me know). Goodbye to driving all the way to festac at night and waking up at 4:20am just to avoid traffic and get to the office on time; goodbye to hopping from one friend’s house to another with all my clothes in my car; goodbye to sleeping in my car when it was too late to drive to festac and going to the gym in the morning to bathe (that was a while back though); goodbye to living on junk food. I want change and I’m going to embrace it.

I’ve cleared out my desk and still got my handover note to write. Its been a crazy house for 5 years and I both loved and hated it. I’m resuming my new job on Monday, which happens to be my birthday (this is God’s birthday gift to me – don’t hate, he loves me that much). Don’t forget to send my birthday gifts to my new office – it’ll leave such a huge impression on my new colleagues, hehehhehe. I’m off to tie the loose ends on the last page in this chapter of my life.

Ta ta

Ain’t life grand?

I woke up by 6am today. It started raining heavily so I went back to sleep and woke up officially by 10am. You see, life is beautiful when you’ve tendered your resignation at your office and you’ve got one week left to work there. You pretty much can do anything! Let it be known though that of the 4 weeks notice I gave my office, I’ve diligently worked for 3weeks, giving them my best. I think I can afford to act irresponsibly for the last one week. And that’s exactly what I did today. After I woke up, I took off my braids while watching a movie, then went to the salon to relax my hair.

Its 4:30pm and I’m just getting to the office. Make e no be like say I no come work today. All in all, its been a crazy good day and I look forward to the next act of irresponsibility. Hehehehehehehe!!!

Road Trip

I used to love road trips a lot. Every year, my family would travel to Benin to see my maternal grandparents or to PortHarcourt to visit our family friends. My mum and dad would each take turns to drive, and at each stop, we would buy all sorts – bread, groundnuts, bananas, soft drinks, chinchin. It was food heaven! Occasionally, my dad would give us a brief history of the town or village we were driving past and the tirade of questions would begin. On getting to Benin, my brother and I would hide behind the seats and asked our dad to tell ‘mama’ that we didn’t come along but he never did (he said he didn’t like lying, darn!). These memories form vital stitches in the fabric of my being. I absolutely loved every minute of it!!!

Today, I’m making one of such trips. But this time, I’m going to Ibadan in the company of my dear friend Adim and his dear fiancee Nkem. We are going to witness the wedding of our dear friend Oti and his dear fiancee Awa. This time its not my mum and dad taking turns driving (we’ve paid a driver to do that) and we are not buying every food item we lay our eyes on.

It all feels so grown up and scary and interesting and great and different. I am so happy for all of us but at the same I have butterflies in my stomach, both unsure and excited about the future. It seems like all the road trips we have each made is taking us closer to who we are in the journey of our lives.

All play and no work…. 5:47am

Yawn! Hi guys. I trust you had a great Easter holiday. Mine was sooo full of activities, I’m tired but happy and satisfied. I spent the whole day yesterday crafting with my mum but I’ll get on to that in my next post hopefully and show you a picture or 2 of what I made.

What I hate about work days? Waking up early. I had to wake up by 4:20am to get ready in time to leave the house by 5:00am (yes,you read that right – 5:00am). You know why? Because what I hate much more than waking up early is the so-annoying-I-want-to-smash-my-windshield Lagos traffic. So I’ll do anything to avoid it. You have no idea.

Anyways, here I am parked in the car park beside my office, my seat pulled back and down, waiting for ‘Focus on the Family’ to start (you need to follow this fantastic radio program every morning) and chatting with y’all. Once I’m done with ‘Focus on the Family’, I’m off to sleep till 8am, ready to face the world.